~Hi~

Everytime back here oso have to say I'm finally back.. So ==".. These few days have been very busy.. Now is better cause done most of them.. After finishing de law video, I found out dat I'm attracted to video editting d.. ><

3rd Dis is de date for my pre-event.. Things dun go smoothly but overall stil ok.. As dis event progress, the relationship among group mates got worse.. Everyone is fed up wif the attitude of someone.. But nothing can be done.. Bad leader is making things worse.. Yesterday heard someone said dat my leader is asking senior whether she can stop being our group leader.. But de senior rejected her request.. Everything is screwed up.. At first I thought dis event will be fun.. But up to now wat I can see is just ppl being annoyed, fed up, and babi.. But de event falls on 22nd and 23rd.. We shall see how dis event will be..

Internship at Pangkor Laut Resort.. Stil no reply from de management side.. Frankly speaking I reali wish to go.. But if failed oso ok la.. But atleast let us know de result faster la.. Waiting is annoying.. She promised to let us know by end of Nov.. Today is 5th Dis d.. Sigh.. Cant do anything.. Just wait and wait..

~05/11/09~

Walau eh.. My last post was on 26th Sept.. ==" Sorry to ppl who visit here everyday.. Accidently abandoned dis little space for more than a month.. I'm back.. ^^ 1 month+.. A lot of things happened.. But ppl told me dun look into de past.. So i leave it behind ba.. =P I WILL post de next time something happened.. So look forward for it ba.. =)

*So long time didnt post in Eng d.. So short de post oso type til stuck here and thr.. zz..

~Big sigh~

Hvnt been here for some time.. Busy or lazy watever la.. Sigh.. Lately been missing Lunarians' gatherings.. All this is due to my skin illness.. I know watever she did is for my good but is not dat ur intention is good meaning de whole idea is good.. Wat I wanna say is very simple.. I dun wanna lose my life just because of dis skin illness... But she just don get me.. To her wat is more important than my health.. So at de end I lost.. Lost because I'm someone's son.. Losing de freedom I once own and losing myself.. All de way up to today I've nvr ever feel tired of being a 'perfect' son.. Lately I‘m fatique.. It is so tiring to be a perfect son.. I am tired.. But so wat? I'm stil her son.. Forever.. I can do ntg but accept it and keep on disappointing her.. I reali cant believe a simple skin illness will ruin my life.. Now my wish everyday is for Feb 2010 to come faster.. Den I can once again escape from life for 3 months.. Tonite is Yuan's bd celebration.. Again I'm going to miss it.. Going to bed before 10 is wat I SHOULD do.. Can do ntg.. Only sigh.. Hope everything is gonna be fun.. Please enjoy urself...

~3/9/09~

今天是九月三号…明天就要开始大考了…我竟然还在这里blogging…唉…算了吧…我就是这样…这样才是我…每天只会说每个人的读书方式都不一样…我的方式就是临时抱佛脚…现在的我连临时抱佛脚的动力也没有…到时候成绩出了就会怕到要死…无聊…

最近的生活方式如旧…早上上网到中午做家务…晚上偶尔去喝茶…但是感觉上身边的朋友都变了…有的成熟了…有的陌生了…虽然说是正常的…但是突然的改变会让人难以适应…其实久而久之就会习惯了…就交给时间吧…

还是继续读书好了…再会了部落格…

~Let'ed' go~

Today saw Ken at TARC.. Yes.. It's Lee Wai Ken.. Sounds funny but I did chat a while with him.. We met at canteen and he's buying bread.. For his breakfast I guess.. De person that I once hated.. Once thought that dis hatred will last forever.. But one day I heard something from radio.. By Chui Ling.. What will u feel when de person u 'hate' is dead.. Will u still hate him/her? Or drop ur precious tears for not hving de chance to say anything anymore? So I've been thinking.. Must I live in hatred? Why must I torture myself by hating someone.. Nothing will be changed.. So.. I decided to let go.. Not to say forget whatever happened.. But not to think so much of it.. It's in the past.. Time machine hvnt been created and nobody can change anything.. But we can create everything.. So why dun we choose to create something more worthy to be remembered instead of living in de past.. Is dis so called 'positive thinking'? =)

~21/08/09~

Hvnt been here for one week.. NO other reason.. Just lazy.. =P Lately been itchy and dots appeared all over my body.. Appeared and disappeared and reappear again.. Hate.. Same thing happening now.. Reali wonder what type of skin illness is dis.. Been to all type of doctors.. Everyone got diff saying.. But no one can cure me.. Babi betul.. Just now surf webs regarding Maya/Mayan's prophecy.. 20/21/22/23rd Dis 2012 is de end of world.. But telling de truth.. I dun care at all.. Now is only 2009.. There are so many ppl died at dis moment, when u are reading dis.. Nobody noes when they'll die.. So why do I hv to care about what is going to happen on Dis of 2012 when I dun even noe if I'll be died tmr or day after tmr..or am I dead on the next minute.. Instead of thinking when we'll be dead, why dun we focus on what we can do at dis moment.. What we wan to do at dis moment.. Sounds so serious.. =.=" Better stop now cause I oso dunno what I'm trying to tell.. Just been away for a week jeh.. Eng became so bad.. Sigh.. Itchy la.. Big sigh.. Wondering if dis skin illness will kill me... Tell u guys what.. If I reali died because of dis, dun forget to burn me de photos of Redang and thx for everything.. =)

~ABLAZE Hospitality Touch~

ABLAZE is a charity carnival organised by Adv. Dip. student of Hotel Management.. Been helping out in de carnival for 2 days.. Tired.. But reali happy to work together wif other friends from same course, sharing their valuable experiences.. Muscle pain.. First time in life time playing wif Zorb Ball, which is a very big plastic ball wif space for 2 person in it.. Reali good experiences.. Never regret my decision of helping out at the field for Zorb Ball alone.. =) Another happy thing was able to play in rain.. Haha.. Actually its at de end of carnival, when we have to pack everything its raining cat and dog.. So everyone oso running across de field in rain.. So damn song.. Haha.. Wished to run in rain for long time d.. Finally de wish came true.. Cause previously no reason to run in rain since I began to drive.. In conclusion, 8 words, can't wait for the next event to begin.. ^^

~8/8/09~

Back from McD.. Heard a lot, talked not much (gua).. Feeling? Mixed.. Reali feel that I should change myself.. Should stop giving/telling rubbish or so called 'what I think/my opinion'.. Reason.. Cause I'm fedup wif '你没拍过拖 你不知道的啦'.. True or false alrdy very lazy and tired to argue.. Supporting point is for example, if u agree wif what I'm saying u'll say true, if u dun agree u'll take this dialogue out again and again.. Reali think what I'm thinking can only keep for myself as it is not necessary to speak out as u know ppl just wont accept it..

Talked about Jia Hui (her name) just now.. Actually frankly speaking I alrdy didnt think about us anymore.. Our relation is classmates.. Nothing more than that.. Later going for class.. Thinking wanna slp or not.. Anyway.. Gd nite..

~I'm back~

Woke up at this time and ntg to do so came here to leave some words.. Lately stil acting de same.. Money problems turning all around, alone, looking for DanDan... I'm have been asking myself one question.. Am I hated? It's not easy to know how ppl think about u and I decided not to think about that.. Indeed I dun have to know how ppl think.. It wont change anything.. De only thing that will be changed is my feeling or so called 'relationship' among me and him/her.. Lately something happened and I think there is already a barrier among me and my classmates.. But as long as I know what I'm doing, I dun have to feel guilty for anything.. Moreover, who are they? Classmates or so called 'friends' for 2 years? Saying things like this may makes me looks like a cold-hearted person but this is de truth.. As soon as we stepped into de society to work, how many of us will remember each other? May be there will be some who will miss everyone but definitely not me.. Sorry to say but that is what I'm thinking.. I'm not acting cruel.. De world is cruel...

~Poker~

Just came back from PMun's hse.. At 1st planned to yc at McD.. But Koh wan play poker at PMun's hse.. So we went.. Result.. I won RM70 (including bet RM10).. Paid Koh (at 1st he say sponsor me half meaning RM5 only I sit down) RM35 so I won RM35 tonite.. Felt bad.. Won of course happi.. But won at de 1st time playing in PMun's hse wif her bro's fren seems so.. I dunno how to say.. Just bad feeling.. Hope they wont hv hard feeling (but I think they will)... Finished reporting about tonite.. Later 8 AM got class.. Dunno wan slp or not.. Surf a while more ba.. Bye...

~好心做坏事~

最近常为training的事而烦恼...

总是感觉自己很多事...

做了很多根本就不需要我去做的事...

还为同学制造烦恼...

本来就该什么都不去理...

现在想再多也没用...

就交回给他们自己解决吧...

~Work work work!~

Yesterday heard something nice from one of my classmates.. "You worked so hard for our asm.. You sacrificed so much.. Thx a lot.." Did I? No.. I felt dat I spent times playing PlantsVSZombies.. But for de menu yes.. Atleast I did worked for it.. Now stil got 3 or 4 asms in hand.. Wan to finish it faster.. Dun wanna drag til last few days before due date and rush for it.. Finish faster burden oso reduced right? Hope more groupmates will understand this.. If possible I reali wan take all the works and do it myself.. Fedup wif those who done their part but I stil have to follow up wif atleast half.. Babi betul.. But if ur Eng is so so den okay.. Fine wif me.. I can do ur work but those good Eng but not cooperating den go die la.. I dun wan to let people say I take all the works by myself and dun divide it to others and dats why I DIVIDE it.. Show some responsibility la.. It's not people wan to do all.. It's you who dun wan to do.. The little good impression of you is spoiled.. Sorry to say but dats it.. Get lost from my sight if possible..

~24 June 09~

Wow.. I didn't abandon this little space, did I? No no.. Just giving it a rest.. Rest for a longer walk.. Bla bla.. XD Today is very tiring.. Cause have to make a sample for de ala carte menu for restaurant operations next week.. Wow.. It's torturing.. I never expect DIY a menu from zero is so hard.. Have to squeeze out everything from my little brain only gao dim.. Then drove back to restaurant for lec to approve it.. It is approved.. But i got saman.. Babi.. Dat area is a no-entry area for student's vehicles.. But just few mins jeh.. De babi secu guard say it's de Student Affair Department head saw my car thr and ask them to saman.. Diu.. So DAMN free ntg to do meh... Alrdy tired some more RM10 flies away.. Reli **** lo.. Arrived home around 4+.. Thought can rest de la.. But out again to buy Hou Nam's activity books.. Den back home.. Again.. Talk.. Den get up from de chair.. Finished up all de hse works that can be done.. Den sit back on chair til now dinner.. Haha.. Be right...... BACK~! ^^ Had my dinner.. Today afternoon saw de one I dun expect to see.. Again drag my mood da~~unn~~~.. Not his fault.. My prob.. Bah.. Enough of him.. Now officially announce.. In dis couple of weeks, sorry cause I'm not joining any entertainment and dining.. Yum cha is fine.. Due to 2 reasons.. 1st.. Financial prob.. I reli dun wan to hear anything about money from my mom again as it's alrdy slotted in my daily routine.. 2nd.. 5 asms in hand.. Hvn't start any studies.. Wish to increase my CGPA by dis sem's result.. Hoping for understanding and thx if u understand.. Dat's all for now.. Maybe will be back soon.. =P

~14 June 2009~

23：19 再一次被责备最近很会花钱.. 我无法否认.. 感觉很不好受.. 心里一直想说，“那么我就不再花钱咯” 但是我可以很肯定的说，不可能.. 但是就算是不可能我也必需要试.. 所以很不好意思的说，我暂时不会在外面吃东西了.. 斗气也好，什么都好.. 反正她说得没错，我和你们不同.. 家里已经有两个很爱花钱的儿子了.. 容不下的三个爱花钱的人了.. 反正一直以来都在说要减肥.. 现在就来吃少点吧.. 讲完了.. 累了.. 晚安...

~28 May 09~

Today no class.. Stay at home whole day.. Morning open de browser and keep on refreshing.. Waiting for de result to be released.. Same like last sem.. Luckily all subs pass d.. Happy for 1 min.. After dat i duno even noe wat feeling is dat... Should i run to my mom and say dat i passed all? No.. I didnt do dat.. I dun wanna get de same reaction like past sems.. Wat is a B- to her? Its a grade near to B.. And B is next to A.. A good son like me should get A... And not only pass all subs... I'm not saying its her fault.. All parents want a good son or daughter.. I can understand dat point.. I dun hv any point to argue about anything... Yesterday finally insomnia.. Thinking wat if i failed one or two subs.. Wat if i hv to repeat.. Wat will be her dialogue.. I'm tired... Few days ago she told me something.. She said she understand dat she cant force HouNam to be like me.. HouNam isnt me.. He cant be like me... All her hope, her everything is on my shoulder.. Wow.. Dat's heavy... Fuh.. Wat to do... I'm her son.. Forever.. Nothing to blame.. I remember last time when i joined de discussion group in Ugen.. I wonder if i mentioned dis before.. They asked us to make anything out of some old newspaper to represent ourselves... Wat will u make? I duno about u but i made a trophy... The ppl thr only gv one reaction.. "Wah...trophy?" But all became silent after hearing my explaination.. I said.."Dis is a trophy.. I am a trophy to my mom.. I am a very good son to her and she used to use me as a topic when she's speaking to her customers.. I feel like i'm a trophy for her to be proud of.. But do u noe dat being a trophy is not as easy as u can see? To be kept on de rack i must keep on being de 'son'.. Mayb dat is wat a son SHOULD do but dats not easy to me.. A trophy is good to look at but not easy to be one.." Mayb u'll think wat i said is lcly.. But i'm not showing off.. Nothing to be proud of... Just... Tired...

Just now PLim called.. At first not reli planning to post but.. Dis is my blog.. Watever i wan i think.. Again.. Using ppl.. I reli wonder how she managed to request such things even when she knew ppl will noe wat she actually wans... Wouldnt she be shame? Ng hou yi shi? She is great.. Admire her courage.. She reli can do watever she wans as long as she need it, she like it.. Cool.. All of a sudden go to Pavilion at 7pm with her.. Speechless.. Although i knew wat type of people is she, i'm disappointed.. From now on i guess i dun hv to feel bad about wat we did or talked about her... As she doesnt care wat ppl might think, we dun hv to too... 

~哭~

哭是其中一种发泄的方法... 但是我们常常都会听到父母说，“长大了，别哭了。”... 长大了不应该哭吗？记得阿牛有一首歌... 列名为“哭”... 里面的歌词我觉得是对的... 长大了，不是不应该哭... 而是应该哭了过后知道该如何做... 把一切都收在心里是很难受的... 如果是无法和任何人分享的话，偶尔大哭一场也许也不错... 哭不出的话找一些戏或动画帮助你流泪吧... 就如歌词里提到的... 流过泪的眼睛，将生命看的更清楚... 也许对某些人来说哭是很丢脸的事... 但是对我来说，哭并不可笑... 反而不会哭的人更可笑，可怜... 可悲....

~Song~

古巨基 - 其实我们一样自私

我们到底发生了什么事
你的态度突然那么固执 
我也毫无理由的坚持
又没有时间听对方的解释 
我们到底用错了什么字
让每句话都变得不诚实 
也许感情该到此为止
免得伤害了还怨对方太放肆 
其实我们一样自私
只保留让自己快乐的方式 
却总是误解别人的心事
不断的自以为是 
其实我们一样幼稚
只在乎自己哭了多少次
只在乎过自己哭了多少次
说感情像长不大的孩子
不断的敷衍了事

~IDIOT Timetable~

MON  8AM-9AM(T)

TUES  9AM-10AM(T) \ 11AM-12PM(T) \ 2PM-4PM(L) \ 5PM-6PM(T)

WED  3PM-5PM(L) \ 5PM-6PM(T)

THURS  8AM-12PM(P)

FRI  8AM-10AM(L) \ 2PM-4PM(L) \ 4PM-6PM(L)

AND~!!!!

SAT!!!!!!  8AM-10AM(L)!!!! 10AM-11AM(T)!!!!!

After getting this stupid image(timetable captured in pics)... Mood totally spoiled~!!!! Again same thing happened as in sem 1 or 2... 8AM start class... 6PM end class... Classes from Mon to Sat... Reli WTF~!!! Nothing to say d... =.="

~A post~

Almost de end of sem break... Dis break is...hmm.. Well... Considered relax... Not so money spending... Atleast not too much for 3 weeks... Didnt think much... Ntg big happened... De break is going to end and its time to be a senior... Haha.. I bet this sem's result is disgusting... Scare to take a look into it... Some more price to resit a paper increased RM30... Its RM80 now... Considered lower than other coll/uni but u cant reli compare...

Yesterday went to Open Range(forgot if dis is reli de name)... Had dinner... Brag a lot... Tae mentioned about marriage expenses... Discussed about it... Myew somehow didnt speak much... Didnt know if i offended anyone dat night... Sorry if i did... My opinion dat night..everyone changes time by time... No right or wrong... Just personal opinion...

Today morning went to morning market wif mom... Everytime i pass through thr..someone will reappears in my mind... His mom is selling things at de market... Same thing happened... Not reli in good mood at dat time and it just got worse after dat... Somebody will say.. Just let it go... Its easier to say than to reli experience it and do it... I bet it will haunt me forever... Anyway..who cares... Its just a life...

Now... Just got back from Jusco... Had a slice of Oreo Cheese cake from Secret Recipe... Watched "Night at the museum 2"... Comedy movie... Fine wif me... ^^ Just one question comes to mind after watching de movie... RM10 for 110 mins of laughter... Mayb not fully but question is does it worth RM10? Personally to me..yes... Enough of -ve thingy everyday... Its good to get some laughter sometimes... Again... Personal opinion... No offense...

Tomorrow.... Back to Econsave as a "spy"... Wish me luck... =P

~10/5/09~

今天是母亲节... 让你度过最不开心的母亲节... 不好意思...

刚才到阿姨家拿粽子... 回家时停在红绿灯... 看到4个小孩子骑着motor... 应该是小学生吧... 心里在想... 时间一秒一秒的过去... 我们一秒一秒的老去... 不知到几时才会离去... 

无聊...

~Knowing~

12/4 终于和Koh去到Jusco看“Knowing”...

可以说是我今年看过最好看的电影吧...

看完了之后问了我自己一个问题...

如果明天就是世界末日，我会在今天做些什么?

吃一餐好的吗? 还是随便找个人来谈恋爱?

都不会吧... 结果还是想不到答案... 

~无题~

曾经曾经每次post都很喜欢想一个适合的title... 但是最近都想不到... 曾经曾经很喜欢说一大堆废话... 现在还是一样，但是最近讲话的时候舌头会打结... 现在的我一直想要改变我自己... 不为什么... 只是想要把一些烂臭的坏习惯删除掉... 

“事无不可对人言” 这句话错的离谱... 有很多事并不是想说就可以说的... 我们已经不是三岁小孩了... 每说的一句话都必须要经过大脑，想想说了之后的后果... 人类啊... 做人还真的很累... 

浩南拍拖了... 害到我最近都一直被家人说，要我快点找个女朋友回来... 为什么一定要交女朋友? 我现在过得好好的... 可以很确定的说，我没有女人不会死... 为什么一定要逼我? 想不通... 不过没关系... 反正我是不会理会的~! 真的不明白为什么有很多人好像不拍拖会死... 这里分手了马上就要去找另外一个... 说真的，拍拖对我来说是完全unprofitable activity... 我没有多余的本钱去玩“爱情”这种游戏... 没错，我没有拍过拖，我不知道那种感觉... 但是我不需要知道... 或者应该说我不想知道... 你要说我现实也好，自私也罢... 我就是这样想... 就算爱上了，也算了吧... 那天我的阿姨说，“你现在已经不是在secondary school了，去交个女朋友玩玩下嘛...” 我很想说，我玩不起... 一旦我认真的喜欢一个人，我很有可能会无法自拔... 所以我选择说不... 懦弱吗？也许吧... 该说的也说了... 不要再拿不知所谓的“DanLing”来讲了... 拜托... 一点都不好笑...

~白痴~

今天被一个同学问... “为什么你那么厉害？” 本来心想她指的是Rubik's cube... 就回答了说“很简单啊，只是记formula”... 她回“不是这个啦，你读书又厉害，什么都厉害...” 其实我一点都不厉害... 一直以来都自以为是的认为自己知道很多，看透很多东西，了解一切... 我根本就是个白痴... 每天只会说一些有的没的烂废话... 实际上什么都没经历过，什么都不懂... 自以为自己很会说话，但是相反的，我还不如一个哑巴的人... 知道他们分手后却完全帮不上忙... 就连最基本的关心都被自己搞到乱七八糟... 说出来的话没让他们好过反而可能制造了很多不必要的烦恼... 对不起... 这18年3个月来我都是个白痴... 一个自以为是的白痴... 对不起...

*我不是不要讲话，只是不要再讲些废话了... 对不起...*

~25/3/09~

Celebration for Tae's birthday... 6 lunarians sit around and talks a lot... Opinions, feeling, past, future... I like tonight... Atleast we understand each other better... How I hope MoMo is thr... Gege... Just now once again, memory of "that night" comes to mind... It's painful... Frankly telling just now when I were talking about that night, I were trembling... That moment I somehow feel pain... Not physically... Its somewhr deep in heart... Lucky PMun called for de cake... To me I will say whatever happened is a part of life... No use of trying to forget it... No point... Doesn't matter if its a happy or sad thing... What u all said just now is right... But who don't have their own world? Everyone have their own life, own world, own thinking, own point of view... No right or wrong, should or shouldn't... I live in my world, I will say my thinking is right, I will convince people that I'm right... Who doesn't? Humans are de same... I don't trust anyone who say they are good, innocence, clean, "saint"... No offense but don't make me feel sick... U live ur life, I have my own life... Opinions accepted but no promises can be made... Talked too much tonight... Should take a rest d... Bye... 

~ChaCha's Birthday~!!!~

Yo leng zai~! Happi birthday~! Most important is hope u happy... And be happy for urself and not for people... We live only for once... Try not to make urself regret... Nothing to say... So stay happy la... Almost all de time saw you keep trying to act happy... Hope one day u can reli let me see ur reli happy face... And add oil la... Just do whatever u feel like doing... Like it or not i'll support u... ^^ 

~无题~

刚才跟妈妈去了CP4一趟...

把裤子送去车拉链，到Farmasi去买浩南的药，还有去了水果档...

没想到的是妈妈竟然跟水果档老板娘聊了起来...

还聊得很开心...

可能她们都是做生意的原因所以都了解对方的辛苦...

在她们的对话中听到很多所谓的“人生道理”...

最近对于这些“道理”好像开始反感了...

还是算了...

不想多想些无聊的事...

要去学院了...

拜...

~Freedom to speak~

Maybe you are right... I don't have any experience and MAYBE I reli should shut up... But I can't see any wrong in expressing my thought... If a person lives but he can't even speak out what he's thinking, isn't that pathetic... I'm not saying anything that hurts anyone... So let me atleast have the freedom to speak which I should have... If whatever comes out from my mouth is crap or rubbish to you, I won't mind if you cover your ears and turn away... 

P/S: No offense please...

~无题~

刚才跟5 lunarians去了MCD喝茶... MYew为lunarians定下了一个规矩... 就是在lunarians之间不可以再有秘密... 我觉得不可能的吧... 因为人终是有些东西是不可告人的... 也许是因为如果公开了会引起无法想象的后果... 所以这个规矩还是被废除废除掉吧... 最多都是希望在lunarians喝茶时不要再提起一些不可以公开的事了... 因为讲真的，不被信任或是被觉得认为不可靠的感觉真的真的很辛苦不好受... 不希望再次体会到这种感觉... 

回到家想了一会... 在脑海里突然出现一道问题... 爱一个人的定义是什么？一道没有确实答案的问题... 因为每个人都不一样... 拥有不一样的想法... 所以还是那一句... 随便吧...

~Sem 2 result~

Dis sem result....pass all!! Hahaha... 2A 1A- 2B+ 1B- 1C+ Fuh.. Knew that dis sem no sub to resit finally feel relieved.. But when I tell my mom about dis..de same thing happened.. Higher expectation.. Sigh.. 1st 5 mins feel so happy.. Den keep on hearing her expectation make me feel sleepy.. Sigh.. Happy mood ran away.. Left sigh and sigh and sigh.. Sigh....

~Redang Island~

3 days 2 nights ended.. One of Lunarians' mission completed.. Those days in Redang is so meaningful to me.. I feel like I'm out of my life.. Went to a peaceful island.. Enjoying sea breeze and sand...(not to mention de polluted side >< ) So happy.. But that's a vacation.. And now here I am, back to realistic life.. Back to Cheras, back to TARC, back to myself.. *Sigh* Hope I stil can afford our next trip.. Waiting to escape from life again..

~Ex-friend~

LBH.. I forgot how many times dis name appeared in here..(including when I didnt reli mention it's him..) Everytime I work at IDC I will feel like our friendship increased.. But all dis time I am trying to forget about de fact dat he was/is my friend.. But he never knows as I never tell anything to him.. Why dont I just simply tell him to get lost and we are not friends.. Because he always looks kind and naive? I dun even know what I'm trying to say now.. I wish to forget everything about those people.. But LBH just dun treat me like them.. But he is one of them.. One of de wounds is caused by him.. Whenever I saw LBH I'll think about de old times..de wound..de pain.. I guess there is nothing I can do about it.. Just let it be.. Forget about it..

~21/2~

Finally Saturday arrived.. Today slp til 12.30 p.m.... Feeling so satisfied... ^^ Found a new song(gua..) yesterday.. 张杰-明天过后... Duno why but like de song..

Just now show my mom's customer de way to acc teacher's hse... Somehow refreshed de old times memory.. Those hapi, sad, naive and simple times...

Human brain is so great.. If it's a creation of God I bet dis is a very great creation.. But also a seed of destruction.. Thanks to dis great human brain, Earth will be doomed.. But I think I can say dat day should be after my life ends.. So I bet I won't care much about it..

My 012 is back.. Just reloaded.. Open back de msgs dat I sent n received yesterday.. I hv been gving out advises like I know a lot.. Asked myself a question.. What do I know? I don't even dare to love someone.. I don't even dare to think about letting go but I advised ppl to let go? What de heck.. I'm just 1 of de humans on Earth.. How small am I in dis universe.. What do I know.. I know nothing.. What I hv to do is to live until end of my life...

Sometimes I reli wonders.. Some ppl say, human beings are like clamps.. Each of they comes in pairs.. Their destiny is to find de other half of them.. But is it a must? I duno why must I find someone to suffer wif me or make myself suffer? Can't a human live by himself? Must them be in pairs? Someone says love is sweet.. Is it reali so? I'll never find an answer for dat.. I don't wanna be in love.. I hv had enough burdens.. I'm just a human being...

Today seems to be so -ve thinking.. But nevermind.. After all it's just a day in my life...

~Post~

Sigh.. Lately not much happened.. But always got some weird n hard to tell feeling..(of course not in love...) Everytime oso feel like posting.. But lazy.. Have to be more hardworking d.. Lately reali reali gained weight..(more to size...) But too lazy to keep fit.. N no motivation to do so... Sem break back to IDC.. Same feeling.. Stressed, bored, feel like dying... Not a hard job but not an easy job... Trust me.. Not as easy as it looks...

Previously I was fetching peoples(CheeWei,MingHui,BanHeng,MeeSheng,William) to work.. But not more for now.. Due to certain reason felt reali tired.. Not acting lan si but I dun reali nid those money from u all to drive to work... Atleast dun think like I'm earning money from u guys.. U respect ppl n ppl will respect u.. If we reali are close friends some ridiculous jokes MAYBE acceptable.. But come on.. We are reali alrdy NOT CLOSE..(as I remember we are not reali close friends..) Atleast I dun think so.. Tell u what.. How I hope I never know u(u-know-who) before.. But there is nothing called IF... So I can do nothing but leave it as a part of memory.. Miserable memory..

Enough of -ve things.. Actually back to work oso got some +ve effect de.. My interest to Eng is back.. Haha.. Somemore can brush up my language while making money.. Not bad not bad.. Gambateh ba KC... ^^

What else leh.. Hmm.. Can't remember d.. I'll be back when I remember back.. =P

~12-01-09~

Today duno why feel blur blur.. Morning fetch my mom go Sg. Wang buy her saloon de things.. Den fetch her back n I go TARC do ID card.. To make a temporary pass for exam nid to go 4 blocks.. Ok lo.. Suan.. Den reach 2nd blocks.. Call me go back at 3 p.m.. Lunch hour no people approve de form.. Ok lo.. Go make licence.. Reached JPJ.. Park.. While I was walking to de office, many men n women keep asking "Leng zai, wan do what? Come I help u do!"... I was thinking why should I let u help when I know u wan my money... Reached office door.. Crowded.. Den 1 uncle come by me.. Ask me same question.. Ask me go take form n queue number.. He help me do.. I somehow go n do what he asked me to do.. Den he help me to fill in de form.. Ask me go photocopy some documents.. GO in n wait.. N PAY HIM RM10~! U know what? I took out RM10 from pocket n gave him.. Den walk in.. Take a sit n wait.. Den I think.. Why will I pay RM10 for him to help fill in A FORM?!! Oh my god.. What happened to me.. Den I look back at de uncle.. He's stil waiting for waterfish outside.. Walau eh.. What power he has dat makes me follow what he said? =.= Or I'm just stupid... Holy sh*t.. Wasted my Rm10 just like dat.. Soon got my licence dat cost RM30.. Included de RM10 cheated by dat uncle.. Den back to coll to gao dim de temporary pass n ID card appliation.. After finished all den back home.. Today whole day like blur blur.. Sigh... Cheated just like dat.. How stupid am I... Curse dat uncle.. Find money like dat.. Careful while walking n driving.. Curse curse curse..... =.=

~无题~

Exam is round the corner.. Stil hving fun with Luna n Shaiya.. OMG.. Pushing myself to study but failed all de time.. Suddenly tot of my poor abandoned blog so.. Here i am blogging.. Saw so many updated post from all de friends.. Realized so many things happened in juz dis 11 days of 2009.. I cant tell why but i feel uneasy abt 2009.. Hope everything will be good soon.. Everything is stolen.. Going to remake everything.. But not so into it.. I duno why.. Everyone asking why u lost all ur documents but u act like not a prob.. I duno.. What de rush.. De policeman said no compound for late remake of documents.. So what's de rush.... Unless for the student ID card only.. Cuz hving exam soon.. People always say.. 有得就必有失.. But I wonder what I've got from dis.. Experience? Perhaps.. Last week didnt gather.. Miss u guys so much.. Sei lo.. So addicted to u all.. But very hapi to hv u all dis bunch of friends.. A bunch of true friends.. Memories with u guys are de sweet memories in my life.. But of cuz included some sour n bitter.. =P But reli thanks for being a part of my life.. Although dis is juz a life.. By the way.. I duno what's so great of a life.. People born.. Lives.. Dies.. What happened in his/her life is juz a part of memory of other people.. Who cares.. As for me.. I lives.. For family.. I wouldnt say its for myself because I never able to live for myself.. I was born in dis family so i hv de responsiblity to take care of everyone that i care.. But as my mom always says.. 没有人是欠你的.. 所以我也没有欠任何人.. But I know I am de eldest n i hv to do my job.. All those things like love.. Marriage.. Are too far for me.. Leave it alone.. I dont believe faith or something called 命中注定.. All dis nonsense is juz de result of one's decision n action.. Juz like I decided to walk out of the street.. A car's driver decided to drive into de street.. And crashed.. U call dis faith? Nonsense.. I duno people who dun believe in God are called what but dats who i am.. Why people juz like to push everything to God? Its ur life.. Come on.. U made de decision n let it be and say let de God decide.. Its so irresponsible.. I do think I hv enough number of people in my life.. 1 more mayb a burden.. I cant afford anymore burden.. People always say.. Love is sweet.. But dats wrong.. Like is sweet.. Love is long lasting.. If u think somehow u already dun love someone.. Sorry to say.. U nvr love him/her before.. U juz like him/her.. I like someone.. I like everyone.. But I hate to love someone.. I'm selfish but I cant afford anymore burden.. I already cant catch my breath with current burden.. Life is annoying.. But some event between it may make us feel its juz not so bad.. Hmm.. Dis post seems to be a long 1.. Hope de next 1 will appear soon.. Be right back.. =P