Today no class.. Stay at home whole day.. Morning open de browser and keep on refreshing.. Waiting for de result to be released.. Same like last sem.. Luckily all subs pass d.. Happy for 1 min.. After dat i duno even noe wat feeling is dat... Should i run to my mom and say dat i passed all? No.. I didnt do dat.. I dun wanna get de same reaction like past sems.. Wat is a B- to her? Its a grade near to B.. And B is next to A.. A good son like me should get A... And not only pass all subs... I'm not saying its her fault.. All parents want a good son or daughter.. I can understand dat point.. I dun hv any point to argue about anything... Yesterday finally insomnia.. Thinking wat if i failed one or two subs.. Wat if i hv to repeat.. Wat will be her dialogue.. I'm tired... Few days ago she told me something.. She said she understand dat she cant force HouNam to be like me.. HouNam isnt me.. He cant be like me... All her hope, her everything is on my shoulder.. Wow.. Dat's heavy... Fuh.. Wat to do... I'm her son.. Forever.. Nothing to blame.. I remember last time when i joined de discussion group in Ugen.. I wonder if i mentioned dis before.. They asked us to make anything out of some old newspaper to represent ourselves... Wat will u make? I duno about u but i made a trophy... The ppl thr only gv one reaction.. "Wah...trophy?" But all became silent after hearing my explaination.. I said.."Dis is a trophy.. I am a trophy to my mom.. I am a very good son to her and she used to use me as a topic when she's speaking to her customers.. I feel like i'm a trophy for her to be proud of.. But do u noe dat being a trophy is not as easy as u can see? To be kept on de rack i must keep on being de 'son'.. Mayb dat is wat a son SHOULD do but dats not easy to me.. A trophy is good to look at but not easy to be one.." Mayb u'll think wat i said is lcly.. But i'm not showing off.. Nothing to be proud of... Just... Tired...
Just now PLim called.. At first not reli planning to post but.. Dis is my blog.. Watever i wan i think.. Again.. Using ppl.. I reli wonder how she managed to request such things even when she knew ppl will noe wat she actually wans... Wouldnt she be shame? Ng hou yi shi? She is great.. Admire her courage.. She reli can do watever she wans as long as she need it, she like it.. Cool.. All of a sudden go to Pavilion at 7pm with her.. Speechless.. Although i knew wat type of people is she, i'm disappointed.. From now on i guess i dun hv to feel bad about wat we did or talked about her... As she doesnt care wat ppl might think, we dun hv to too...
